You have no idea how much i hate myself right now

I'd gained 3kg in just one fucking week!!!! I hate myself so much,I don't want to gain any more weight I'm fat I'm fucking fat,I don't want to be that fatass like I used to be!!!! I can't!!!!! I want nice legs,flat stomach,and skinny body!!! No fat all over my body!!!! (Anxiety and crying right now!) I really want to kill myself right now!!! I want to be dead,I hate it!!! I have fucking fat things,and I have those fat rolls on my belly again! I hate it!!! I can't do this anymore!  I'm one big fucking pig!!! Noooo!!!! Just no,I will stop eating bread again,I don't want gain any more weight so fast,it too much for me,I'm just stopping eat again,I shouldn't telling my mom I have ED,I could be happier,I could be still loosing weight!!!! 

I don't want all those kilograms,i want to be skinny!!!

I won't eat bread,i wont eat anything like that,I'm fucking fat big pig,and that is the reason why i don't have boyfriend yet! I will never be in relationship because Iˇm obese!

I bet I don't have that flat belly anmore (i can't see my whole body cause we have just pretty small mirror in the bathroom) I really want to kill myself, Why is everybody telling me I need to gain weight,I don't need to,all I need to do is feel comfortable in my skin,and i felt more comfortable when I was on my lowes weight