IT IS TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO THIS BLOG

I was really thinking about if I want to delete this blog,and,yes it will be better for me and my mental health.

I made new one,about my life as vegan. And I think that one will be more positive than this blog was.

http://ellasveganlife.blogspot.com/ here it is if you want to visit it.

I have no idea what to atm. It's August,and I haven't lose any weight,I gained backthese few kgs I've lost. I tried to eat more protein,I was thinking maybe, when I start eating more protein I'll lose weight (fat) but no nothing happened.

Well and I watched few YT videos and read an articles about High carbs vegan diet.

And even though there is no chance I could eat more than 200g of carbs and more than 1500 cal per day I want to try it,actually I should eat more than 200g of carbs and more than 2000 calories per day... But I just can't do it.  It is still bit triggering for me.

But I've found diary from times when I was in recovery and there are some really good things to eat.

So probably I will use some of them again. I don't want to say I will go back and eat less than 1200 calories per day, (well to be honest I can't promise that)

What I want to say,I workout 6weeks with Kaylas BBG already and ther aren't any differents, I didn't slim down,I didn't lose weight,I'm just the same(maybe just bit toned)

I wanted to lose weight and go to school as a new person...I'm just tired of trying finding balance between exercises and food and not seeing any changes... I can't wear my favorite clothes because my belly is too big for them,and I can't wear my favorite shorts because my thights are too huge... I feel disgusting. 

I drink lot of water I eat healthy,I workout eveeryday,and yet there is nothing different......

I don't want to give up again...

But back to high carbs

I want to try it because when I'm thinking about it I used to eat like that before,but then I allowed myself to eat crappy food and I gained weight.

So,yes I'm going to try it.

I will eat more fruit and vegetable,some nuts and seeds,and some vegan protein things.

And also going to try not to eat white flour or pastry at all,rice (at least not white) and also white potatos...

I want to become the person with flat belly and happy mind I used to be.

So the shedule for 

August: BBG,and blogilates. 30Days sherd JM,Yoga

September: BBG,blogilates,JM killer abs.some LIIS workouts,Yoga

October: BBG,blogilates,LIIS,Bob Harper workouts,Yoga

November:BBG,blogilates,HIIT,LIIS,JM ripped in 30,Yoga

December:BBG,blogilates,HIIT,Bob Harper Ripped core,Yoga

And I want to say something more,well I did few test about bipolar disorder,and every single one said I have it,and it is really bad with me,maybe that is the reason why I'm so happy in one minute and then I'm sad and depressed,but I don't know about the fact someone from my family have BD,and I really don't know what to think about it,and I won't tell it to my mom she would be like "you did some stupid test on the internet again?" And she wouldn't believe me,or say it not true and I just made it up,so I won't tell anybody.  But do you think I could have bipolar disorder?

But anyway it have been while since I said I want to try IF,and I weighted myself this morning and I weight about 58.5kg which I think is pretty good,cause few weeks ago I weighted about 61kg

So I think I will keep doing it,also I started T25 yesterday,so atm I workout with Cassey (month calendar) Kayla(bbg) and Shaun (t25)

I can say I see little changes,and I'm happy with them.

Also I want to post one song that I found and it can cheer me up.
When I'm listening to it I want to sing and dance,and idk why but it makes me happy.

I want to write about something else that is weight loss and fitness and all thesse stuff.

I want to write about something personal...

Well, did you ever fall in love with someone,but you knew you can never be with them?

This happened to me,I've fall in love with a boy who live thousands of miles away, I haven't talk with him for more than 2 weeks and I thought it is just something that go away after a week or so, but I dream about him every night I go to bed,and it makes me sick,I'm tired of this feeling, I don't know what to do, I can't telll him, and I don't know how to move on and forget about him...

Like I can't be really happy, I mean one minute I'm so happy I want to dance and sing and then just one song or tv show can ruin my whole mood and I'm so depressed that the only thing I want to do is listening to sad songs and stay in my bed for a whole day.....

Intermmitent Fasting 3#

Help
http://www.1percentedge.com/ifcalc/

This page may help you with your IF,it's calculator. And it helped me with everything.

Something about 5 methods of IF,which one is just for you?

1. Leangains

How It Works: Fast for 14 (women) to 16 (men) hours each day, and then “feed” for the remaining eight to 10 hours. During the fasting period, you consume no calories, though black coffee, calorie-free sweeteners, diet soda and sugar-free gum are permitted. (A splash of milk in your coffee won’t hurt, either.) Most practitioners will find it easiest to fast through the night and into the morning, breaking the fast roughly six hours after waking up. This schedule is adaptable to any person’s lifestyle, but maintaining a consistent feeding window time is important. Otherwise, hormones in the body can get thrown out of whack and make sticking to the program harder, Berkhan says.

What and when you eat during the feeding window also depends on when you work out. On days you exercise, carbs are more important than fat. On rest days, fat intake should be higher. Protein consumption should be fairly high every day, though it will vary based on goals, gender, age, body fat and activity levels. Regardless of your specific program,whole, unprocessed foods should make up the majority of your calorie intake. However, when there isn’t time for a meal, a protein shake or meal replacement bar is acceptable (in moderation).

Pros: For many, the highlight of this program is that on most days, meal frequency is irrelevant — you can really eat whenever you want to within the eight-hour “feeding” period. That said, most people find breaking it up into three meals easier to stick to (since we’re typically already programmed to eat this way).

Cons: Even though there is flexibility in when you eat, Leangains has pretty specific guidelines for what to eat, especially in relation to when you’re working out. The strict nutrition plan and scheduling meals perfectly around workouts can make the program a bit tougher to adhere to.

2. Eat Stop Eat

How It Works: Fast for 24 hours once or twice per week. During the 24 hour fast, which creator Brad Pilon prefers to call a “24 break from eating,” no food is consumed, but you can drink calorie-free beverages. After the fast is over, you then go back to eating normally. “Act like you didn’t fast,” Pilon says. “Some people need to finish the fast at a normal mealtime with a big meal, while others are OK ending the fast with an afternoon snack. Time it however works best for you, and adjust your timing as your schedule changes,” he says.

The main rationale? Eating this way will reduce overall calorie intake without really limiting what you’re able to eat — just how often, according to Eat Stop Eat. It’s important to note that incorporating regular workouts, particularly resistance training, is key to succeeding on this plan if weight loss or improved body composition are goals.

Pros: While 24 hours may seem like a long time to go without food, the good news is that this program is flexible. You don’t have to go all-or-nothing at the beginning. Go as long as you can without food the first day and gradually increase fasting phase over time to help your body adjust. Pilon suggests starting the fast when you are busy, and on a day where you have no eating obligations (like a work lunch or happy hour).

Another perk? There are no “forbidden foods,” and no counting calories, weighing food or restricting your diet, which makes it a bit easier to follow. That said, this isn’t a free-for-all. “You still have to eat like a grown-up,” Pilon says. It’s all about moderation: You can still eat whatever you want, but maybe not as much of it. (A slice of birthday cake is OK, he says, but the whole cake isn’t.)

Cons: Going 24 hours without any calories may be too difficult for some — especially at first. Many people struggle with going extended periods of time with no food, citing annoying symptoms including headaches, fatigue, or feeling cranky or anxious (though these side effects can dimish over time). The long fasting period can also make it more tempting to binge after a fast. This can be easily fixed… but it takes a lot of self-control, which some people lack.

3. The Warrior Diet

How It Works: Warriors-in-training can expect to fast for about 20 hours every day and eatone large meal every night. What you eat and when you eat it within that large meal is also key to this method. The philosophy here is based on feeding the body the nutrients it needs in sync with circadian rhythms and that our species are “nocturnal eaters, inherently programmed for night eating.”

The fasting phase of The Warrior Diet is really more about “undereating.” During the 20-hour fast, you can eat a few servings of raw fruit or veggies, fresh juice, and a few servings of protein, if desired. This is supposed to maximize the Sympathetic Nervous System’s “fight or flight” response, which is intended to promote alertness, boost energy, and stimulate fat burning. The four-hour eating window — which Hofmekler refers to as the “overeating” phase — is at night in order to maximize the Parasympathetic Nervous System’s ability to help the body recuperate, promoting calm, relaxation and digestion, while also allowing the body to use the nutrients consumed for repair and growth. Eating at night may also help the body produce hormones and burn fat during the day, according to Hofmekler. During these four hours, the order in which you eat specific food groups matters, too. Hofmelker says to start with veggies, protein and fat. After finishing those groups, only if you are still hungry should you tack on some carbohydrates.

Pros: Many have gravitated toward this diet because the “fasting” period still allows you to eat a few small snacks, which can make it easier to get through. As the methodology explains (and the “success stories” section of The Warrior Diet website supports), many practitioners also report increased energy levels and fat loss.

Cons: Even though it’s nice to eat a few snacks rather than go without any food for 20-plus hours, the guidelines for what needs to be eaten (and when) can be hard to follow long-term. The strict schedule and meal plan may also interfere with social gatherings, which can be tricky for some. Additionally, eating one main meal at night — while following strict guidelines of what to eat, and in what order — can be tough, especially for those who prefer not to eat large meals late in the day.

4. Fat Loss Forever

How It Works: Not completely satisfied with the IF diets listed above? This method takes the best parts of Eat Stop Eat, The Warrior Diet and Leangains, and combines it all into one plan. You also get one cheat day each week (yay!) — followed by a 36-hour fast (which may be not-so-yay for some). After that, the remainder of the seven-day cycle is split up between the different fasting protocols.

Romaniello and Go suggest saving the longest fasts for your busiest days, allowing you to focus on being productive and avoid focusing on potential hunger. The plan, which can be purchased on their website, also includes training programs (using bodyweight and free weights) to help participants reach maximum fat loss in the simplest way possible.

Pros: According to the founders, while everyone is technically fasting every day — during the hours when we’re not eating — most of us do so haphazardly, which makes it harder to reap the rewards. Fat Loss Forever offers a seven-day schedule for fasting so that the body can get used to this structured timetable and reap the most benefit from the fasting periods. (Plus, you get a full-fledged cheat day. And who doesn’t love that?)

Cons: On the flip side, if you have a hard time handling cheat days the healthy way (i.e. being able to indulge in moderation and turn off that green light when it’s time), this method might not be for you. Additionally, because the plan is pretty specific and the fasting/feeding schedule varies from day to day, this method can be a bit confusing to follow. (However, the plan does come with a calendar, noting how to fast and exercise each day, which may make it easier.)

5. UpDayDownDay ™ Diet (aka The Alternate-Day Diet or Alternate-Day Fasting)

How It Works: This one’s easy: Eat very little one day, and eat like normal the next. On the low-calorie days, that means one fifth of your normal calorie intake. So using 2,000 or 2,500 calories (for women and men, respectively) as a guide, that means a “fasting” (or “down”) day should be 400 to 500 calories. Followers can use this tool to figure out how many calories to consume on “low-calorie” days.

To make “down” days easier to stick to, Johnson recommends opting for meal replacement shakes because they’re fortified with essential nutrients and can be sipped throughout the day rather than split into small meals. However, meal replacement shakes should only be used during the first two weeks of the diet — after that, you should start eating real food on “down” days. The next day, eat like normal. Rinse and repeat! (Note: If working out is part of your routine, you may find it harder to hit the gym on the lower calorie days. It may be smart to keep any workouts on these days on the tamer side, or save sweat sessions for your normal calorie days.)

Pros: This method is all about weight loss, so if that’s your main goal, this is one to take a closer look at. On average, those who cut calories by 20 to 35 percent see a loss of about two and a half pounds per week, according to the Johnson UpDayDownDay Diet website.

Cons: While the method is pretty easy to follow, it can be easy to binge on the “normal” day. The best way to stay on track is planning your meals ahead of time as often as possible, so you’re not caught at the drive-through or all-you-can-eat buffet with a grumbling belly.
(source)

Intermittent Fsting 2#

What it is?
Intermittent fasting is not really a diet; it is more like an eating pattern where periods of eating alternate with periods of not eating or fasting. This type of program has several health benefits, including weight loss and longevity.
There are two types of intermittent fasting. The first one does not allow you to consume any calories in a specific period – your fasting period. The other type does still allow you to eat, but your calorie intake will be significantly lower than on non-fasting days.


How does it works?
With intermittent fasting, your body operates differently when “feasting” compared to when “fasting”:
When you eat a meal, your body spends a few hours processing that food, burning what it can from what you just consumed.   Because it has all of this readily available, easy to burn energy in its blood stream (thanks to the food you ate), your body will choose to use that as energy rather than the fat you have stored.  This is especially true if you just consumed carbohydrates/sugar, as your body prefers to burn sugar as energy before any other source.
During the “fasted state,” your body doesn’t have a recently consumed meal to use as energy, so it is more likely to pull from the fat stored in your body, rather than the glucose in your blood stream or glycogen in your muscles/liver.Burning fat = win.
The same goes for working out in a “fasted” state.  Without a ready supply of glucose and glycogen to pull from (which has been depleted over the course of your fasted state, and hasn’t yet been replenished with a pre-workout meal), your body is forced to adapt and pull from the only source of energy available to it: the fat stored in your cells!
Why does this work?  Our bodies react to energy consumption (eating food) with insulin production.  Essentially, the more sensitive your body is to insulin, the more likely you’ll be to use the food you consume efficiently, which can help lead to weight loss and muscle creation.
Along with that, your body is most sensitive to insulin following a period of fasting. 
Your glycogen (a starch stored in your muscles and liver that your body can burn as fuel when necessary) is depleted during sleep (fasting), and will be depleted even further during training, which can further increase insulin sensitivity. This means that a meal immediately following your workout will be stored most efficiently: mostly as glycogen for muscle stores, burned as energy immediately to help with the recovery process, with minimal amounts stored as fat.
Compare this to a regular day (no intermittent fasting).  With insulin sensitivity at normal levels, the carbs and foods consumed will see full glycogen stores, enough glucose in the blood stream, and thus be more likely to get stored as fat.
Not only that, but growth hormone is increased during fasted states (bothduring sleep and after a period of fasting).  Combine this  increased growth hormone secretion, the decrease in insulin production (and thus increase in insulin sensitivity), and you’re essentially priming your body for muscle growth and fat loss with intermittent fasting.The less science-y version: Intermittent fasting can help teach your body to use the food it consumes more efficiently.  For many different physiological reasons, fasting can help promote weight loss and muscle building when done properly.  

Benefits

Weight loss – Sugars from the food you eat get stored as glycogen in your liver. When your body needs energy, it first starts to burn glycogen. Normally, it takes up to 7-8 hours to burn all the stored glycogen and to go after fat cells.

With normal eating patterns, that rarely ever happens, however, with the intermittent fasting diet, you have longer periods without food during which your body converts stored fats into energy. Moreover, that means you will lose weight.

Detoxification – Fasting gives your body time to repair all the cells and drive toxins out of your body. You will feel healthier and look younger.

Hormonal balance – Intermittent fasting increases the levels of human growth hormone, which helps to repair and grow muscle and slow down aging. Fasting also normalizes leptin and ghrelin levels; both of these hormones regulate hunger.

Longevity – Since fasting cleanses your whole body, rejuvenates the cells, and keeps the skin clear and smooth, we can say that longevity is one of its benefits. We all heard stories of 100-year-old men who have not eaten for decades. Do not try that at home though!

(source 1#,2#)

intermittent fasting

 promised you to write about IF so here it is.
I just want to say if you are just starting with working out or are recovering from ED  DO NOT DO IT.
So I do IF 6 times per week which means I do not do it at Sundays, I eat normally at Sundays.
But during the week it looks like this, I wake up at 6-7am if I feel like working out I do some yoga or pilates (mostly blogilates) at 8-9 am I eat my breakfast (fruit,nuts,oatmeal etc.) at 12pm I eat my lunch and after it I start with fasting time,which means I don't eat anything,I just drink water or mint tea. At 5-6pm I do my workout (BBG+blogilates and few minutes of cardio or kickboxing=1-2hour of working out. And I go to sleep at 9-10pm.

During the IF you eat the same amound of calories that you do during a normal day,so it means this-I eat about 1000-1200calories (okay sometimes less) during the normal day,so it means I'm going to eat the same at my IF days.

Also I want to say I won't eat like this forever. I want to do it for a month or two. But in September I want to start eating normally again.

Intermittent fasting is one of the most popular ways to diet, mainly because it is safer than all those fad diets, it is easier to follow, and it does give results. Let us see what’s it all about and how to start fasting yourself.



Daily Fasting – In this case, you will have a 6-8 hour eating period each day and the rest of the time, you will be fasting. For example, you will have “breakfast” at noon, lunch at 3.30 PM, dinner at 7 PM and no more food until noon on the next day. This is probably one of the easiest fasting patterns to follow as you can still eat every day. 
I'm doing this method The leangains but I changed it a little because if I ate so late I mean at 7pm my stomach would bload and hurts)

Weekly Fasting – Here you choose 1-2 days without food each week. It does not have to be a full day as long as you go 24 hours without eating. For example, you can fast from 6 PM Tuesday until 6 PM Wednesday. Again, you still get to eat on each day, but since you fast for 24 hours straight, you get to enjoy all the benefits.
(I wanted to try this one but I think it would be still a bit triggering for me,so maybe next time.)




Whole Day Fasting – This time fasting lasts longer than 24 hours, as you are not allowed to eat one whole calendar day. In this case, the fasting period lasts somewhere from 30 to 36 hours. Many people prefer this schedule as then they do not have to keep an eye on the clock as long as they remember not to eat for one full day

5:2 Fast Diet – This is one of the most popular fasting diets, perhaps because it still allows you to consume some calories during your fasting phase. 5:2 in the name means that you can eat as much as you normally do on 5 days of the week and after that for 2 days, you need to cut your calories and only consume around 25% of your regular daily calorie intake. For women this is usually 500 calories and for men 600 calories. While fasting, keep your meals healthy, eat many veggies and only lean meat or fish. No junk food, even if it is only 500 calories.

(well okay I'm doing something in between this one and leangains method,but I changed it, I fast during the week so it means I eat 500 calories from Monday to Friday and at the weekends I eat normally 1200 calories.)
(source)
I want to try IF while I have summer break. And see if it will work on me again, I tried it a year ago and it worked.




So if you want to try IF too I'm glad,but be careful,so eat healthy,workout and don't give up. :)

I have nothing to say. I don't know what should I write about.

Okay well, I went on trip with my family yesterday,and ate way too much food,but it's okay, I don't feel guilty,I'm just still bloated a bit.
We traveled about 60 km from our place,so most of the time we spend it the car.
But we had lovely lunch-snack I had potatoe salt pancake with vegetable. Then we went to the some museum and bought ice cream I had coffee flavore and it was delicious :)
And when we came home we went to our favorite restaurant and had pizza. (I had vegan one and ate it all because it was just soooo good)

After that I watched Thor and did some couch workout :) So I was pretty nice day I guess :)

did this one 2x


and this one 6x

Well, I'm not really sure what should I write about,and well I continue workout with Kayla,and my weight changed a little but my measurmenst are aleways the same,which makes me sad a bit,but I won't give up because it was just 2 weeks,I will continue do Kayla and Cassey plus some cardio or kickboxing workouts,and also my food choices changed I don't need sweet so much as I needed it 2 months ago and it will be about 15 days in Monday without sweets. So I'm proud of myself a little :)

Also I calculeted few things and it will took me about 80-90 days to lose 20 pounds (10kg) which means I could have flat belly in December or sooner,I hope I can do it,cause I hate look into the mirror and see my big stomach...It is annoying me....

Also I think it was stupid saying I will eat only 600 calories per day. Also I tried IF again and it helped me a little,but I changed it, I eat my breakfast and lunch (the days when I'm really hungry I have one small snack) and then I don't eat dinner, but I do it every other day (for example Monday I skip dinner, Tuesday I eat dinner, Wednesday I don't etc. etc.)

Also I make sure I eat the same amount of calories everyday,even those when I don't have dinner, I think I already wrote about IF,and if I didn't I will soon.

I want to change this blog,seriously from the negative to the positive.

So I went workout and it really helps me, it can bring me good mood back. And I can tell I've never sweat like I do rn in my life.
I did Kayla Itsines Friday BBG w/o and some kickboxing and it really helps me.. All the stress and pressure just disappeared.

I wasn't able to w/o for a long time so I'm really happy and proud of myself today.

I was thinking about it,and yeah I think I will stay at 600 cals.
I have meet so lovely people on the internet,and I don't want to lie to them.
I just, if I meet them in real life I want them to say "you look good" or something like that I don't want them to be like my mother, I don't want them to say "omg you are fat"

And also I want to feel good in my body again, I have lovely skirts and I can't wear them because I'm fat,and I'm not just saying that, I really am.

So I will stay with 600 calories for new two weeks and see if I can lose some weight,I hope so cause I would really want to lose at least 10 kgs(20lbs)

I want to look nice at least in the end of the summer. And I will graduate next year, so it would be nice to have flat stomach and that thighs gap,like you know all the suff...
I would wear dress and skirts and don't worry about my fat stomach...
I feel so bad rn,like I didn't expect my mom to tell me I'm fat and I shouldn't eat, when she was the one that used to tell me to eat... I don't know who can person who once loved you say something like that...

I'm so sorry guy I'm just disappointed,and sad...

It's summer,and I have holidays for two months,and people are traveling,falling in love,make new friends,and I'm here,home,alone where I have nobody to talk to, my parents think I'm lazy and I don't move all day, My mom calls me fat. Like yey my life is "great".

She says I'm fat and then she wondering why I'm depressed?  Like WTF?

There is a reason why I don't want to go out, and wear shorts, you called me fat remmeber?

That's why I'm depressed,and don't want to go out,and eat food,that is the fucking reason!

I wish I have never tell her about anorexia,so I could be still thin,and everything would be fine.she wouldn't call me fat and I woulnd't be depressed,cause the truth is I loved how I looked I didn't hate myself,yes I wated to lose more weight even thought I was thin,but I didn't hate myself so much as I do now.

The only thing I do these days is how many calories,carbs,fats and protein have the food I'm going to eat,and if it is worth it eating, and I ate around 600-800 calories per day this week,and I will probalby continue and get where I was before and I don't care what would people think.

I'm just so messed up, like I seriously was depressed for 4 days and they saw I was, but yet they still yelled at me how worthless I'm and, yeah I started selfharm again, I didn't cut myslef for more than a year and they just fucked it up. Like thank you mom and dad for this shitty summer. You are the best!

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine and happy etc. I'm tired of it. They will yell at me anyways no matter how hard I try,they will always find reason how to mess with me.

There is nothing I could say or do.

I'm tired of this life,of fake smiles and all these stuff. 

And I was thinikng about what I have done to myslef how I started to eat sweets again,and how I've gained too much weight,
I tld myslef I want to look good in september and I have only 2 months for it. I want to weight 48kg in March for my graduation, and just feel good in my body,I want to wear skirts and shorts and tops and dresses... But at the moment it is impossible.... And I'm sad because I don't want to get where I was,but still it is the only way I know how to lose weight and it is actually works, I really don't know what should I do......

Well I don't know what I want or what I want to be anymore,.
And to be honest I didn't think I would made it and end this semester,but hey, I'm here and I 'll graduate next year, and I'm like....I'm 18 and there are still things I've not done yet... And it's summer again and  I'm starting to be depressed again I don't really know why,but,I feel broken....
Since that surgery lot of things happened......
I'm not saying I'm giving up, I just, it would be nice to have some kind of rest of your life,like you know just take you packpack,money and just travel around the world,meet new people, make new memories and friends, I would be so happy if I could forget just for second about my life, Just really live my life and enjoy it, not just asking myself if I should get out of the bed today...
My life is boring,and there is no way i could make it better, no reallly I tried, oh how many times I tried (worthless)
And still there are people all aorund the world in my age and they just have fun, make new friends.
I'm here in my room listeing to sad music and thinking about what I'm doing with my life.
I will graduate next year and I still have no idea what I should do, where I should work.
Everything is so stressful.

When I was little I couldn't way to be this age,because I thought it would be cool, but I think my young myself wouldn't be happy with me.
I always wanted to be like my sister, I adored her, she was my idol, like she was one of those popular pretty girls every boy want. And my parents alwas say I should be more like her,
But I hate it when they say it,I feel like I'm not good enough (more then usual) when they say it, it really hurts, and I tried to tell them, but they don't care.
I will never be like her, I'm not popular I do not know if I have a best firend, I just know few people I talk to, but I don't know if I can call them my friends,and boys do not look at me, nobody cares about me, that is why I do not talk to people,that is why I rather spending my time watching tv show,or on internet, people here are nice to me.
That is why I would rather stay in my room whole day then go to shopping mall or to the city, becasue all those people, it is scaring me, their looks, their eyes on me, I do not feel confortable.

When I see a girl and I know she is prettier of funnier, or just better than me, I get panic attack and anxiety and I just want to run away and sceam and cry,but well I have to pretend like everything is okay.

And I also know there is not big chance I would find somebody who would really like me, like I know life is not a romantic movie, where the hansome guy fall in love with that non popular girl, and they just stay together, I know life is not like this, but God I wish it could be, it would be like the first good thing in my life.

I get this imagine in my life of a boy who trully love me, it is stupid ,because I don't believe someone like that can exist....

I'm 18 and I have not have any relationship, or just a kiss... I'm 18 and I didn't do anything in my life. When somebody ask me what I do for fun, I'm thinking about the answer, because my life is not funny,and I do not do anything for fun, I try to survive day by day.......

You should really watch these videos

The ugly truth about models (article from my other blog)

I've read one article where little girl (10 years) asked one model what is her workout routine and what she is eating because that little girl would like to looke like her "I would die to look like you." Is this really what 10 years old should said? She would rather die and have body like model than be alive and have an average body shape?

Some vegan tricks and tips :)

It was 4 years since I'm vegan so I want to give you some special tips :)

 

Hello. :)
I've been 4 weeks and I'm still not able to workout,because I still have stitches on my ankel,so I can walk just with crutches. My brother says I look like little turtle. :D But it's okay,he take care of me while my parents are not at home,while they are at work. He cook for me etc.

During this phase "I can't do anything" I've gained few kg but it's totally okay,I think.
I wanted to start eat less than 1000 calories,but I said to myself I can't do this again.
I'm trying to eat clean,healthy as much as I can,but as I mentioned,my brother cooks for me so time to time he cooks something unhealthy as cakes,muffins etc.
So I'm taking this whole situation as little break from school,exercises and so.

But as soon as I will be able to walk I'm going to do some new workouts routines such as Kayla Itsines,Blogilates,and new worouts videos from Fitnessblender because I love Fitnessblender sooo much <3

I've not started 7 days diet or 500 calories diet yet,becasue I have some problems with my stomach so not giving my bodywhat it needs would destroy me roght now!

So right now I can't workout because it would bring me pain,my calories intake for a day is 300-1400 calories,because I can't eat everything I want.
But since tomorrow I'm going to try eat more vegetable and fruit again......

Oh and my weight is still the same which is 56-57 calories. I really don't think I can lose weight in the moment,but as soon as I will be able to move and walk and run I want to go out and run run run :)

dinner idea 2

breakfast idea 2