WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BODY?

Like I weighted myself this morning and I weight even more than yesterday.
How could this happened? I eat healthy,I drink lot of water and tea.
So why can't I see any little results? Even my waist get bigger.
I'm hopeless.
I don't know if I should give up,or keep going.
I really want that nice toned body,flat stomach etc. But,how long it will take me to see results.
And how could I gained so much weight? How could I let myself become this fat girl again?
I found my old pics,and oh my god those muscles I had. It makes me really really sad and I can't describe the other feeling. How could I let myself destroyed it all?

People say I look good,but it makes me feel even worse,because I compare myself with others a lot,and then I get mad,jealous,sad,hopeless.....

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY MIND?

How can I change?
I have just few days,myschool starts 12.1.2015 I have to change till then. I need to lose weight (I ould be happy if lose even just a little weight.)
I want to slim my waist...
I want to kill muffin top...

But all these things seems to be so far away from me,I can't reach them..